Awake

While we were back in Wisconskin for Thanksgiving, Will and I had some time before Kieran's doctor's appointment to hop on over to the ol' Walmart on Black Friday and do some shopping. Of course Kieran had a doctor's appointment! We drive three and a half hours to see our pediatrician! (sigh....)
If you want to avoid the Black Friday crowds and still get the good toy deals, get your ass to Will's hometown...seriously.
In our sleep-deprived stupidness, however, we forgot to cover up our booty in the backseat and when Keegan climbed into the car, all was revealed.
Keegan being the good sport that he is simply said, "Dad, I don't need to sit back there with your (wink wink) groceries" when he climbed out.

We spent the weekend with Will's brother and sister.  And I have come to the realization that it's really too bad that brothers have to grow up and get married because I think that wives really botch it for the them..and I'm a wife, here people!!!
I sometimes feel sad for Will because it shouldn't matter if I show up with implants as big as his head, so much filler in my face that I need a Stephen Hawking voice box to communicate and have joined Scientology and am expounding on my new wondrous belief that the mother ship is coming to get us all next week.
It shouldn't ruin anyone's weekend. It shouldn't even be anyone's concern except Will's. And really he should just be able to put me in his mother's closet, lock the door, and go drink some whiskey with his brothers.
He should be  talking about the good ol' days when they used to fish down at the crick (they don't say creek in Wisconsin) and chasing Amy Sue, Becky Lynn, and Denise (hahahahaha) around on mopeds.
But unfortunately they aren't doing that as much. And I feel like the wives have gotten in the way. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've gotten in the way, I mean that could be the God's honest truth.  This could be ALLL me here, folks.  I don't really think I should matter that much when we're back home. I mean I want to be included, and loved and appreciated. Look, I want to drink whiskey too!  But I want Will to make the decisions and have time with his family. I want to be his wife, his teammate, his big busted, scientology-loving, smooth faced princess. (I am kidding, really. NO Scientology. And the filler...I wish.....)
Sometimes I feel like the sister in laws have become, well a little big for their britches, and it really isn't our show to run.  We were blessed to be welcomed into a big crazy fun family. But it's the welcomed in part that I think we sometimes forget.  I am guilty as charged.
Will didn't have to choose me. And his family certainly didn't have to accept me. (Look, they may NOT have, they could be really good actors!)
The bond between sisters and brothers is so precious. I see it with my three. I watch Maren hug Keegan while Will changes his pump set, and Keegan make Kieran laugh when the car ride gets too long. These are things that they do naturally because they love each other.  They are growing up learning to be each other's best friends. How dare anyone come between that.
 Will has three loving kind siblings who have always supported each other. He is so blessed.  I loathe to think that I would ever come between them, that because of my own selfishness or petty judgments, Will's bond with his siblings might be shaken.  How horrible of me.  I don't have that right.
I am not sure what shook me this weekend more than any other weekend, but something did. I'm thankful for it though. It's good to be reminded of what's right.
"Dad, you know those groceries in the back of the car?"
"Yes, Keegan."
"Well, do you think maybe I could open that one on Christmas Eve?"
"Probably Keegan."