Saturday, November 24, 2012

Trying and Failing

It's my turn to learn how to do the "checker" and "pens" now because on Monday Will has to go to work.
I can't do the damn finger check well at all and I end up having to do it a bunch of times.
I loathe it for Keegan because it's him that's getting pricked. He doesn't even flinch but I am just sick to my stomach about it because I can't get it to work on my own.
Will always has to do it.
This is just one of the things we are dealing with right now.
I am trying to stay off the internet because everyone has a story about their child and Type 1 out there on those websites and right now, it's not helping me to think about things that we haven't learned from our nurse. I am constantly worried that I am feeding him wrong, and we also have Maren and a baby on the way to think about. How am I going to do everything?
This is definitely not one of our "up" days.
We put up our Christmas tree, effing disaster, until Will went and got a new stand. I just think right now with the holidays and Keegan and the baby on the way, and one income...WHAT IN THE HELL???????  I am thinking that a lot right now.
Really?  Is there anything else you want to throw our way??  I am almost afraid to ask that because I am so scared there will be something else.  My faith is a little shaky today.
If I lie down for a bit and try the checker again, maybe it'll be ok.  Keegan is the strong one. I am just a stupid mess.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Kudos to you for being honest. It is in your time of honesty that we can rally around you and pray specifically on your behalf.

Try and remember this...Hebrews 4:14-16. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

And Isaiah 41:10...Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

You are not failing. You are learning.