Relaxing

Alright..now if you are an animal activist..just STOP..I am not doing a thing here..I have a point for the little deer leg and it has nothing to do with ANYTHING important so I don't want to hear any comments..NONE..I love all animals, I don't wear fur, I eat a steak once in a while, and I am NOT getting into some damn debate about cruelty to animals on this blog..I put the deer leg there for a reason and I don't mean any harm..can I just go on now??!!

We are leaving for a wedding in Wisconsin in two hours and I should be wrapping the present. I HATE wrapping presents because I wrap like a four year old and everyone at the gift opening is going to think a four year old wrapped our present and we don't have children to blame it on.."Oh how cute! Melissa and Will's child wrapped their present for us...Wait a minute..they're not even married...It must have been.." GOD! I would put it in a gift bag but it's a BOY present..something for the grill and the gift bag would have to be the size of a Hefty lawn bag and that is just embarrassing..so I have to blog fast and get down there and wrestle with the paper. Of course Sylvester will sit right in the middle of it and there will be cat hair all over the scotch tape so it will look like a furry four year old wrapped the present..even worse.

Last night Will and I didn't get along as well. This is hard for me. I am a Stepford-girlfriend right now. I may always have been this way throughout life, but NOW with a new house and the man I have always dreamed about..it's worse..I want things to be PERFECT. Life is not perfect. I know this in my dumb brain. I have lived a very imperfect life. I do imperfect things all the time. (Um..who ran out of GAS in the driveway??) I even give myself HUGE breaks on the inside when I am alone. But with Will I do not do this. I want to be perfect. Why is this? I think it's because I love him so much and I want to be flawless in his eyes. I need to get over this. I am not flawless. I have wrinkles and zits. Seriously. But you know what I mean. I can feel this restlessness inside to RELAX..is that weird or what? And at times I do relax. In Uptown. I relaxed..even in the busi-ness..I found my park bench and I SAT.. but now out here in the quiet..I am having a hard time relaxing..My mind is busier than it was when it was BUSY in the city..that is weird..So my goal over the next few weeks with my time off is to figure out a way to just let some things go. And maybe find a way to say F*ck it..Can you say that on a blog..Wait a minute..it's my blog..Because I really need to just chill a little..I don't think Will is just going to pack up his stuff and say "See Ya! It's been nice! But hey, I really gotta go." That is probably a little of what is worrying me..so maybe if I can just dump that thought with the Monday garbage I can move on..

Anyway..the deer leg..I love Wisconsin..I love where Will comes from..it is HEAVENLY..rolling hills, trout streams..and when I was running one day when we were visiting..there was this deer leg in the road..ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! So I took a picture..and I don't think it's NORMAL..I mean I don't think there are just deer legs on all the roads..I never saw one again..but it was just something I had never seen before..and sometimes when you haven't seen something, you should take a picture of it..I think..

It will be a fun weekend..and I will relax..I love that there is always a chance to make changes and to improve..I really like that about life..