However, my mornings are filled with Maren's 3 breakfasts, Kieran's power naps, and Keegan's 8545 questions: "Mom, is Wolverine part of the Justice League?"
So my writing has had to go to the back burner.
There are times when I dream about moving to a lake where I can stare out at the water and write funny little articles about my kids for a living..............
but I guess I would have to bring them with me because I would run out of material....
Anyway, I am going to try to spit this out before Maren and Keegan get tired of Dancing with Disney on Wii and Kieran realizes he's missing all the fun and wakes up.
We are supposed to send a picture to school of a journey this summer and I have been tied up in knots for weeks about this stupid picture.
I can already predict half the staff's pictures: running races, running races together, running races in mud, tops of mountain peaks,(probably running to get there), lake cabins, weddings, baby's births, European vacations...etc. etc.
I am really feeling prickly about sharing my journey with the people I work with.
And I am not sure why I am taking it so personally....except that for me it's PERSONAL.
Life is complicated and bittersweet. And gut wrenchingly sad sometimes.
Keegan's diabetes has changed our life. It is a horrible horrible disease. DO NOT try to sugar coat..well, Splenda coat it..it's hard.
But we have watched our son become stronger and braver and more confident because of it.
God doesn't give you what you can't handle. It's true.
Our baby Kieran is the biggest blessing that could ever have happened.
Most most especially to Maren Vada. Maren and her Buddy Boy.
But let's not kid each other. 3 small children...really really hard. I could send a picture of dinner time. Maren whining, the baby crying, Keegan refusing to test. Perfect.
Marriage is a rollercoaster. You said, I said. We said. I think, you think. We should, you should....while raising 3 small children..and managing diabetes...Should I send the picture of Will with the "are you from another planet look"?
This has been my journey this summer. So when it comes to sending a picture of it..I don't feel like sharing these things because they are personal. They are heart breakingly happy and sometimes so so sad. I have struggled more in the past year than I have struggled since I moved to Uptown. I mean I have really slogged along. Should I send a picture of my therapist's office?? Perfect.
Probably the most precious thing I have seen this summer happened yesterday at the doctor's office when Keegan got his pump.
Will tried the set first so Keegan wouldn't be scared. He wore it all day.
What a father will do for his son...true love.
Some journeys aren't for sharing with everyone.
I feel like ours is not for everyone to know.
And that's okay..
But let's be honest.
If I could send a picture of my A to D I would...just to trump the races..Look, I am a little bit of a shit..we all know this...
No comments:
Post a Comment