Sales Pitch

Dear Lord I have gotten myself into a mess.
The annual garage sale.
Shit balls.
I should be out in the garage right now folding  pieces of clothing into tiny piles onto a 6 by 6 table. Or whatever the stupid dimensions are...
Instead I am in here complaining about it.
What I really want to do is throw everything into about 30 boxes on the driveway and put up a big sign that says:
"Go ahead and dig!  50 cents for whatever you find!"
Lord. I am not in the mood for a sale this year.
 As you will RECALL, I live in an effed up community that starts their garage sales in the MIDDLE of the week and expect a full service retail store complete with beverages, bags for purchased items, and convenient parking.
I KNOW I am going to lose it at least once during this whole thing at some poor old unsuspecting lady.
"Would you take a dollar for the-"
"G-d  DAMMIT NO! WHAT DOES THE F-ing STICKER SAY?? CAN YOU READ? CAN YOU??"
Sigh.
Maybe if I just visualize bad things, then nothing bad will happen.
I am clearly losing it.
Thankfully my very calm friend, Rachel, will be here for a lot of the sale. She is also a very good strong CHRISTIAN woman.  She will just pray over me a lot.
I am a little sad that Rebecca and I did not have a second annual sale together because who is going to clean up the blood when I punch that old woman? Rebecca is SO GOOD with blood, but she would have had to hire a moving van to get all her shit over here, and that would have put her in the red even before she sold all her stuff, so better to just have her own sale this year.
So I guess I will try to get myself back out to the garage. Maybe I should take a nap first.  Maybe that will make me feel better...
Let's be honest, the only thing that's going to make me feel better is Friday:
the day the garage sale is over.