The Landslide..

Here is where I am mentally right now:
It was essential that I Dirt Deviled a small pile of coffee grounds that had accumulated in the cupboard before I DID ANYTHING ELSE TODAY, but I still have one Christman ornament up by the fireplace.....
My sense of urgency could be a bit out of whack. However, I feel that as long as I take care of my children, I am okay.
As of this morning we were absolutely out of everything essential. I even considered bringing home a roll of those awful scratchy brown paper towels from school just to get us through last night, but I was lucky enough to find half a roll in the garage left over from last summer when Will cleaned the pond, so we made it until I got to Target this morning.
I don't recall Target advertising itself as a convenience store...do you?
I must have missed the memo.
I had $300. worth of merchandise and there was a lady behind me with ONE item.
She sighed, rolled her eyes, edged her cart forward, put down that divider thingy..Jeez Louise Lady!!! Give me some room...
I am very finicky about sorting my items. I like my frozen together, my cleaning together, my baby items..etc. etc..this makes it extremely easy to unpack, and the Target people LOVE me when they  bag.
It took every OUNCE of my Christian kindness not to turn and punch that woman in the head. I prayed silently and gritted my teeth...WHY OH WHY must I be tested constantly???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because.
That is always the answer I get.
Seriously. It's just: Because.
My first week back to work is over.
Monday I was there at 6:45. New clothes. Showered. Fresh. Ready. Lunch made.
Tuesday I was there at 7:00.  New sweater.  Bathed. Ready. Lunch left over from the day before.
Wednesday I made the staff meeting on time. Showered. I forgot my lunch. No biggie. I had a granola bar in my desk drawer.
Thursday.  I got there by 7:30.
Friday. Eff it. I got there at 8:25.  I hadn't showered since Wednesday.  I cried all the way to work.  I had to put a lunch on credit in the cafeteria. Shit balls.
"And the landslide will bring you down........................."
I am very much a believer in looking on the bright side. I am very much a smile and the world smiles with you kind of a gal....until I am six sides of exhausted...and then look out...I go batshit crazy...
by Friday....I was batshit crazy............
It is hard having three small children and working full time.  It is hard to maintain the standards I want to maintain in my life: clean house, clean classroom, happy husband, happy kids, pefect body, face, hair, la la la la la, blah blah, not possible not even close to possible...
so it's sucks when that reality slaps me in the face for the 5023 time or whatever..and  I, yet again, have to take that slow and steadying realistic breath:  You cannot possibly do it all and do it well, Melissa Ann...
and actually, YET AGAIN, there is some relief in that..
so it's Sunday now, as I finish this blog that I started YESTERDAY at 10:30 am, and the new week is about to begin..and I will NOT be going to work at 6:45 am. I will HOPE to shower..and I am out of any new clothes..but at least the first week back is over..now I can just concentrate on one day at a time. Much much easier...