Eff You Y-I found A REAL Gym

Oh my Lord..I am so happy.
I found the gym of my dreams yesterday.
1.  There is no joiner fee.
2.  Both times I have been there, there have been exactly THREE people total in the place.  When you are post partum and trying to lose weight, the last thing you want is a work out room full of buff, skinny people.
3.  The man at the front desk looks like my father-in-law, Bill, IF Bill had done some hard time. I LOVE him already.  "I've lost 100 pounds since I started workin' here."
OH my LORD! That means I will weigh 17 pounds in a YEAR!!  (I am KIDDING people-let's keep moving!)
4.  There does not appear to be a dress code, in fact, the only rule I could find, was next to a bottle of 409 and roll of paper towels. "Please wipe off the equipment when you are done."  NO PROBLEMA!!!   You can  bet your sweet asses, the minute I hit my goal weight I am throwing on the jog bras again!  Screw you and your "it's posted on the thing" rule, YMCA!!
5.  The front windows face McDonalds.  This is not really a dream of mine, but I don't particularly like McDonalds, and I think it's funny, AND at least it isn't a liquor store, so let's just continue...
6. I am pretty sure that if I go in the morning, I can get away with bringing the baby because it seems to be a pretty quiet gym.  I am only running for 14 minutes right now, so I am pretty sure he can just nap in his car seat on the floor while I huff along at a snail's pace, praying my vagina won't fall out. (So far so good on not losing the va-jj, but it's only been two days.)
7.  My ex-con father-in-law was sweet enough to give me TWO free days at the gym AND he was very complimentary about my Project Run Again.
I don't think I need to go into a long list at this point about all the things the Y has NOT done for me over the years, other than take a ton of money from our account every month.
Let's just suffice to say that I LOVE my little B-grade gym and I'm not looking back!
Ta-ta!!