The Fireplace MD

Oh boy. The fireplace physician is here. Have I told you about him? Dave?  He has been over to our house to fix the fireplace so many times, that I feel like I should set him a plate at dinner. I don't want him to stay, but I feel like it's only polite.
Ahh Dave.  Just can't get it fixed the first, second, or even third time.
I have been throwing dagger eyes at Will but he is choosing to ignore me. He doesn't mind Dave that much.  This is one case where I feel Will's judgment might be off. Just sayin'. As I write, I can hear him out there giving Will a lesson in fireplace repair: "See this hatch here? It's good news. Somebody replaced it already. Boy that would have been expensive. And this dillflap over here? Yeah, that looks like it's fine too, this time. So I guess that's lucky. You got any kids home because this vacuum is LOUD."
Dave is one of those dudes who is desperately looking for things to be wrong, so that he can fix them and get PAID.  I know people like this, but instead of a fireplace and payment, it's their health or their relationships or some other crap that they desperately want to complain about or find the "wrong" in so they have more to talk about as they go through the process of "fixing" it.  Sigh.
People like that bug. I cannot STAND when someone creates issues that aren't really there just for the sake of something to talk about.  How about this: don't talk.  Just be quiet.  Stop thinking about the black trim BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Thank you for the reminder.
Oh man, I just heard him again. "Yeah, you should have some time left here with the flue de gilly pipe, but you know, that's lucky."
Sigh. I am super glad Dave is not MY doctor right now. That's the blessing in all this: he's just here fixing almost nothing on the fireplace. Way better than a weekly visit to his office:  Well, your cervix SEEMS to be closed, but that's just lucky.  Your vag de baby chute, I don't know.  It looks like sometime, you'll need that replaced. NOT today, you know, but that's just lucky...."
Yep, definitely seeing the silver lining of this whole thing today!