If I close my eyes out on the deck I swear I am in North Korea. Wait. Is that safe Korea? I am just thinking jungle..maybe I will just go with: If I close my eyes on the deck I swear I am in Columbia. Shoot, that isn't much better.
Will and I celebrated my 39th birthday last night at Capital Grille. I LOOOOOVE that place. It's all dark wood and old rich lawyers with tacky toupes driving Mercedes, and people I SWEAR are in the mafia, and I just stare stare stare!
"Would you stop looking around so much?"
"What? I am just wondering who that old man is in the tacky toupe. He seems to know EVERYONE here. I'm asking our waiter!"
"No! Melissa! No!"
"Excuse me. Who is that man with the -uh, who is that man who seems to know everyone?"
"That's Mr. Leepshitz. (I did not make that name up.) He's a regular. He's very nice. If you get to know him, you can call him Leefy."
YES! "Will! I want to be a regular! How awesome! We could be regulars here! Do you know what it takes to be a regular at the Capital Grille? You just have to come here, like EVERY DAY! And spend money! That's it!"
"Melissa, we are annuals. The Williams' are annuals."
"You're right."
Since returning from my hospital stay, guh. I have been thinking a lot about turning 39, and I have to tell you that I feel pretty great about it.
I think it's because I am doing some hard work on myself this summer, and trying to get back to the real me, and I am really trying to focus on the important stuff.
I heard someone on TV the other day say that she has earned every wrinkle on her face at 45. I liked that.
I like to think of them as stripes. I have earned every single stripe I have! Ha ha!
There is something really empowering about being older. I like my experience. I like knowing that I have done a lot, seen a lot, felt a lot. Everytime I am with my students, I seem to know what to say or how to handle MOST situations. Every time Maren Vada performs some new trick such as sucking chocolate straight out of the Magic Shell container that she snuck out of the lazy susan, I feel MORE able to HANDLE it!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh.
I am using a fantastic devotional by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling. My mom introduced me to it. I am finding that the quieter I get, the louder God gets. The more I lean into him, the more I feel his presence. It is a constant work in progress, but I know I am not alone.
As I am working on feeling strong, independent and confident again, I am also feeling the love of Jesus with me. It's getting more peaceful in my world where I have not felt much peace in a long time.
I was thinking about my friend R- from school. She is probably, other than my mom, the Christian that I admire most. She lives her faith. She doesn't fling it at you. She just emanates it. She is strong and confident in different ways than I am, and there are things she has done that I don't know that I could do, but the decisions she has made are always based on her faith. I have always admired her for that.
When I watch people struggle with situations or decisions, I think about R- and how she has made decisions in her life. I think it is a very good idea to give it to God. I don't think this means that you just sit back and wait for the answer to fall into your lap, however. I do think that it means you can stop worrying as much as is humanly possible. There is someone far more powerful watching over things.
That is comforting, to me at least.
Will and Keegan have gone on their first annual camping trip with Grandpa Gary. This means Maren and I are HOME ALONE.
Do not tell Will, but I am really kind of looking forward to this time.
It does not mean that I will not miss my boys like crazy, however, there are some things about just having the two of us here that are really really heavenly.
First, my house will be clean, and it will stay clean for three whole days!
I can eat cheese and crackers for dinner and drink wine and watch as many Real Housewives as I want. THOSE women need a devotional, though, I am just saying!
Maren and I can go for a walk, shopping, or we can just play Little People on the floor all day.
I can change her outfit 5 times if I want to!
By Wednesday I will be more than ready for them to come home, but it's nice to have this time with my daughter too.
There is a huge run off drainage pond at the bottom of our hill running through the backyards. I think I see steam rising from it.
Yuck.
We are going to have malaria down there, I bet.
Yuck.
Ernesto will probably be floating down there later tonight.
Yuck.
Okay well, it's quiet and I can get some things done.
And I didn't put my eye cream on yet today.
Look, let's be honest, I've earned my stripes, but I didn't say I needed to SHOW everybody!!!
1 comment:
Wow. You are a gifted/talented writer.
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