Look, when you have a fourteen month old, and he naps twice a day..timing is EVERYTHING..I have approximately 54 minutes of "safe time" between Keegan's morning nap and lunch time before he goes a little bonkers, and then I have another 1 hour and 31 minutes following his afternoon nap, before he comes into the evening "freaky time" when he isn't quite hungry for dinner, but certainly not ready to poop in the tub, and God forbid, it is wayyy too early to think about "night night" time..
According to Will all I think about is when I can get Keegan to sleep next. I beg to differ. I think about the next time I can get him in the "right" mood AFTER sleeping so that I can actually leave the house and get something done.
Because I do not count picking up all of the DVD's he has pulled off the shelf for the 1000th time as "getting something done".
So this morning I was golden. Good nap..happy boy..off to Cub.
I seemed together. I had my list..Keegan hadn't eaten it yet, and I was even able to have an adult conversation with the butcher.
I was feeling GOOD. Until I got to the check out line and I didn't have my wallet.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Look, I get it. We live in the age of "identity theft" and you know, my checks might be bad checks on top of that..but if I have proof of insurance..can't that just count? Can't you please just take my goddamned check so I don't have to come back later and try to do the whole grocery shopping thing over again? If I am a thief or have no money in my account, then come and get the groceries later. MY ADDRESS IS RIGHT ON THE CHECK!!!!
Needless to say..the manager at Cub was not interested in proof that we had good car insurance and she would not take my check..
The worst part was the look she gave me: The-nice-try-I-bet-you-LIVE-in-your-car-and-your-son's-shoes -aren't-even-on-the-right-feet-so-you-really-must-be-an-idiot" look..
apparently SHE has never forgotten her wallet on the counter in her haste to get the store because her children must be perfect every moment, either that, or she has a nanny and never takes her children anywhere with her, and they will grow up resenting her and never come home for Christmas.
But I don't know..Cub Food Managers probably don't have nannies..
ANYWAY..I left with my tail between my legs and I am blogging and waiting for Keegan to get up from his nap whereby I will swoop him into the car and whisk him to ANOTHER grocery store in the hopes that I can have a semi-perfect shopping experience.
And I will just leave his shoes at home this time.
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