I'm Not Going To Lie To Ya..

My friend Tommy loves the saying: I'm not going to lie to ya..

I'm not going to lie to ya..I don't feel the greatest right now..I feel a little whacked out. I think this is normal...I hope so, but I hope this does not last long because I really really do not like feeling like a goofball most of my waking hours..And right now I have too many waking hours.. My body has gone through some pretty dramatic changes in one week's time..I know this..I need to give myself a break... A whole human being came out of me..even if he was only the size of the smallest dumb bell at the gym...
I am prone to frequent small melt downs right now..For example yesterday I went shopping for Will's birthday..I want him to have a nice birthday..I want him to have nice presents..I went to the Coach store at the outlet mall..what was I doing there????
Does Will want a designer handbag for his 31st birthday??? Is he gay now?? GOD! See???
I am not going to lie to ya..I am a little discombobulated...
so after I explained my whole life story to the Coach store clerk and she escorted me kindly out of the store with a box of kleenex..I made my way to the car and got a grip. Luckily they had a darling little clutch that fits into my baby bag so it wasn't a total wash..
ANYWAY..I have decided that new mothers need their own city. This way they can live there for the first few months and no one is going to look at them strangely when they break down in the middle of aisle seven at Target yelling, "Where is the dishwashing liquid! Dammit! I just had a baby!" or wonder why they are staring longily at other people's babies if they don't have theirs along. They will be accepted and helped at stores if they don't have makeup on or their clothes don't match because they are wearing half maternity clothes, half of their husbands clothes and no one will care that they haven't washed their hair or combed it in three days..They would also be allowed to ramble on endlessly to anyone and everyone about the birth of their baby, their baby's routine, their baby's personality, or even just their baby's toes, without people's eyes glazing over..We need this city..

So today is Will's birthday and I am not going to lie to you..I am so thankful every minute to have him. He still loves me even when he comes home from work and I am sobbing in the bathtub..Keegan is fine, his mother is the sobber. That's another thing..in the New Mother City, there would be a lot of kleenex everywhere and public crying would be completely accepted and openly welcomed. New father's would have sports bars attaced to the houses so they could just walk right from the living room into the bar where other fathers would be waiting to commiserate..sorry I digressed..I am really into that city idea..
I love Will more than anything and he hasn't packed his bag yet so he must think that things will get better with me..either that or he is plotting my commitment to the New Mother Sanitarium (also a part of the city)..but I bet he is waiting until I give him his new handbag for his birthday..