Secrets and Tests

I am the worst at keeping secrets...truly..
My mom and step-dad got their first yellow lab fourteen years ago..my brother was out of town..it was supposed to be a SURPRISE when he got home..
but one night he called from the road: "Christopher! We have a surprise..it's yellow and it has a tail and it barks!"
Oh phooey..
Anyway, Will and I have had a secret for a while..and it has been KILLING me to keep it.
It all started the weekend we went home to Wisconsin the last time...well it didn't really START there, but you have had biology class or whatever and you should know how things work..so just figure out for yourself where it actually STARTED if you get my point..
So we went home and I wasn't feeling well.
"I don't feel well."
"What isn't feeling well, honey?"
"My stomach and I am so tired and I feel like I want to cry and rip someone's head off at the same time."
Uh-oh...
So the weekend progressed and I still didn't feel so hot and in the back of my mind there was this little nagging voice saying: "There is something DIFFERENT about you. You are FEELING sleepy..and moody and it's DIFFERENT.."
Shut up little nagging voice.
But by Sunday I was ready for what probably was happening..and so was Will..so we headed to Wal-Mart..and I bought the test.
And of course because I can't keep secrets..I took it as soon as possible. I really hope you are staying with me here and that you don't really think I was taking an EXAM from Wal-Mart..When the test came back..I lost my breath..and I may have blacked out for a second from shock, I am not sure..but you know how your life can change forever in the blink of an eye? Just in a one minute test result.
So..if you can't figure it out yet, I am having our baby. And that is a miracle, a wonder..it's beautiful and it is also a little scary..so anyone who doesn't think it's a little overwhelming to find out you are going to be a PARENT..is LYING!!!

I am pretty sure there are a lot of lies about being pregnant that I will uncover along the way...
I think there is some sort of secret society of post-pregnant women..and once the baby is here, I will have to join to keep un-pregnant women from knowing the real truths..but for now I am NOT going to keep any of their secrets..I don't owe them anything yet..
Of course there have been things that I have had to give up..and we all know what the BIGGEST one was..and it wasn't sex and that is what got us into this in the first place..so that should have been the first thing to go! No, it was....
WINE..
The night we found out we were pregnant we were with his family for dinner..and of course I had to act normal..Oh please! How do you act normal when you are carrying a SECRET in your BODY?? That's going to actually be a whole other person?? That's absurd..but I tried..and there was wine..and because we didn't want anyone to know yet..we had to pretend..
"Here..I'll just fill your glass up with water..and I'll drink the bottle..otherwise they'll wonder why you're not drinking.."
Am I that bad? Did I always have a glass of wine in my hand? God, that is just pathetic..But probably true..
Will has never been a wine drinker..but that night, he did remarkably well..He put back a whole bottle..impressive for a beginner...
Anyway, it really was wonderful to KNOW finally why I wanted to sleep ALL THE TIME..or scratch out someone's eyeballs..and Will's reaction to the news was great:.. "You're going to get fat, honey!"
Really so great.

So we are going to be parents..and we are happy..and the secret is out..THANK GOD! Because I can finally talk about the most important thing that has happened to us yet..besides buying this townhouse..and Will changing the litter box..

I think the lesson is that life brings us all kinds of tests..and some are harder than others..but I do think that when you find the right partner to take those tests with..than really you can pass anything..I definitely have the right partner..
and I am NOT going to get fat..am I?