And who has Arnold Schwarzenegger been messing around with?
What in the HELL has been going on since I have been swiping floor crumbs out of Maren's mouth, writing referrals on naughty middle schoolers, and sobbing uncontrollably because I haven't slept in three months probably due to the fact that my daughter is swallowing more floor crumbs than I can swipe out of her mouth thus resulting in some sort of weird sleep disorder that they can't diagnose but is probably linked to the fact that I never have time to clean my house because I am so goddamned tired from teaching naughty kids all day and then coming home and trying to raise two small children, be a competent wife (ahahahaha) and homemaker and let's be honest I don't even know what a "home maker" is supposed to be but I really wish I had time to go and get my eyebrows waxed even though that sounds horribly selfish because I am starting to look like an old man with those crazy wild eyebrows growing all over the place...
This is how my mind thinks right now.
Yesterday I buckled Maren into her brother's car seat, and I panicked because I thought she had lost THAT much weight! "My Lord! You've shrunk! Why is this car seat so big for you?? "
Not sleeping will do this to you.
Maren has not slept through the night consistently innnnn......ohhhhh....
HER WHOLE LIFE.
So right now Will and I are a little nutso.
So of course my blog is going to sound a little nutso. (It always does, Melissa.)
Shut up you.
However, while I was feeling like I could deal with the inconsistency of her not sleeping through the night fairly well, and even felt that inconsistency had become a "routine", I am starting to crack.
The last three weeks of teaching before summer will do this to a person, months with no real true sleep will do this to person, living by Ernesto will do this to a person. (I just had to get a jab in there, you know I did!)
Yesterday, I drove 30 minutes to a clinic in Minneapolis to reunite with our old pediatrician. I do not care anymore. I am going back to the woman I love. I am no longer a fan of "convenient medical care". I want my pediatrician who knows I am a basket case about my baby and embraces it.
In a matter of 25 minutes, once I stopped sobbing and apologizing for being late because I was lost in the city trying to find the clinic, she took a look at Maren, took a look at me pronounced us both chronically sleep-deprived and sent us on our way with a plan. Amen.
Last night: The first full night of sleep for Maren in two weeks.
For me: a small peek at what "normalcy" might be. Let's be honest, nothing is ever normal with kids, you know I know that you know I know that.
If nothing else I have a four year old that can take care of himself.
"Mom, this show is too much fighting for me to watch. I want to turn it off."
He is his own censor at 4. I love it. Of course he says this as he holds his light saber in his hand, but whatever.
At least someone is taking care of themselves well around here right now.
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