Girls Just Wanna Have Fun..

So tomorrow night I am going with some of the girls from work to a play or something.
I don't really know what we're doing.
I just know that I have a babysitter, and there are drinks in Minneapolis involved.
Maybe I should know the details better, now that I think about it.
Anyway, there have been about a zillion e-mails going back and forth about what people are wearing, who is driving, where we are starting to drink, etc. etc.
It has been a great distraction from teaching to read them all.
Until I got this one today:
"I will try to switch cars, but if not I'll have the squad car, and I can even do breathalyzer checks for fun!"
WHAT THE HELL???
So apparently someone in this group is friends with the school police liason officer.
WHO BE-FRIENDED THE SCHOOL COP???
This is like be-friending the PRINCIPAL!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????
So all of a sudden I have a real buzz kill on this whole night out thing.  What if she comes in her UNIFORM???
What if she looks up my RECORD before she gets there??
DO I HAVE A RECORD??
She can probably at least check my credit score. Shit balls.
OH! And you KNOW she is going to figure out that I used that bad credit card one night in Uptown that said Melissa Bsderick1 because I was DESPERATE to go out, and they took it at the bar, so now I have like 3 aliases!!! Shit!
I do NOT like this AT ALL!
And I NEVER paid that library fine when I moved!!!  Dammit! I bet I owe like $8000.00 by now!
It is getting worse by the second.
Anyway, I am talking to those girls tomorrow and figuring out who's bright idea this was. THEN I am staying farrrrr away from the fuzz tomorrow night!
AND there is no way I am carpooling with her! NO WAY!
Unless she turns on the siren and we get to go really fast!