Part 2...With No Husband

It snowed about 50 feet last night.
Two swimmer diapers do not work like a pull-up.
I have a massive amount of bedding to wash.
I just peered around our Christmas tree that blocks that entire front window and realized we are completely snowed in because the plow pushed all the snow into our driveway.
I think the snowplow driver is either a: a bitter ex-boyfriend of mine or b: an old student who doesn't like me
We have 25 shovels in the garage so I KNOW it's my job to somehow get out there and shovel because starting the snow blower would probably send me to the emergency room or the mental ward. But what am I supposed to do with Maren? Baby Bjorn her up and take her with me?
YES I am sure in the olden days, women strapped their babies on and just went out and shoveled their way out of their huts, or whatever, but the thought of hoisting a 17 pound baby and snow at the same time just makes me want to gag.
I would have died after the first snow fall back in 1845 and my husband would have said, "Good riddance! Get me one of those hearty gals who can heft sh*t!"
I bet Will looked outside at his buddy's house and went back to sleep. I have already called him twice. He hasn't picked up. I don't really blame him. He knows what our driveway looks like.

We do have the most beautiful Christmas tree in all the land this year, and I have no way to show you a picture here on my vulgar language-d, personal, pointless blog because I took my camera to work to upload pics on my desktop and forgot it there.
We are going to have to videotape (oh I am sooo old school) the trimming of the tree this weekend. I love home movies, though, so it will give us something to watch in 20 years when Keegan brings home his girlfriend, whom I won't really approve of and we won't have anything to talk about and Will will be sending me "dagger eyes" to lay off the wine because I am starting to get a little too snippy.
"Sooo Jeanna..you didn't finish college and you want to open your own, I'm sorry what kind of boutique?"
"A shoe, nail, hair bow, and dog collar boutique."
"Ohhh, interesting, and you think that because my son is a doctor he'll just be able to support your little endeavor?"
Or you know some awkward scenario like that.
Meanwhile, Maren won't even be home for Christmas because she'll be in Zimbabwe on a mission trip with her college sociology club or something. "Mom! This is a fantastic opportunity! We are going to be re-building homes, schools, teaching them English, and how to knit their own scarves and blankets! All in a week!"
It's good to have high hopes for your kids, isn't it?
Anyhoooo, hopefully Will will come home soon. I really miss him.
Maren is taking her morning nap so truly I could go look at the shovels and see if maybe one of them might work for me.