Wax and Wane

There is nothing worse than pushing a Target cart through a snowy parking lot.
I don't know why I hate it so much, but I just had to get it out.

This has been the weekend of what in THEE hell?!
My mother rarely swears but when she does it's always: Well, what in THEE hell?!
Stress on the "thee".
I am going to complain for the next five minutes. Look, it's cheaper than therapy and I don't have a lot of sick days to burn right now. So, you don't have to keep reading. It's a free country.
1. Keegan has been sick and when he is sick, he likes to make EVERYONE around him miserable. THIS is a man trait and I had hoped we had some time before those traits kicked in..NOPE. It is the worst to feel achy and "coldy" and I KNOW we can only give him Tylenol, but couldn't someone out there invent a safe cold medicine for kids? Why can't Ny-Quil come up with a kiddy version? Isn't this 2009?
2. We finally got his haircut today and it looks like a blind drunk derelict Edward Scissorhands got a hold of his head.
I kid you not. When I saw my own precious son after his 20.00 "designer kids" haircut I almost crapped.
"Aren't kids supposed to have bad hair cuts?"
This from my ever-positive mate.
Bad, yes. HACKED? No.
I blame this partly on Keegan because he WILL NOT sit still for a haircut..he HATES them..he cries and throws his head and generally has a miserable time, but isn't there a VICE or something they could use to hold his head in place?? (Oh you know I am kidding) But they are supposed to be experts in kid's haircuts! Is my son the ONLY child who pitches a fit? Aren't they trained to snip on the sly?
Apparently not, and now when he has his picture taken with Santa next week, I am going to have him wear his stocking cap.
I PRAY he grows out of this stage before middle school, because I cannot stand when boys have that "hair in the eyes so I look like I don't give a crud what you're teaching me because I can't see you anyway" look. I can't possible have one of those sons, can I?
3. Here's the grand daddy of them all: I had a bikini wax today and I am THINKING that my skin may be more sensitive due to pregnancy. I should have checked first- I KNOW I KNOW.. For the love of all that is holy and just, it was like having straight pins stuck in my eyeballs...but instead of my eyeballs..well, you can figure it out. Look, after that, give me childbirth with no Epidural because it could NOT possible hurt any more.
I thought it would be NICE not to have to worry about shaving anymore..I felt kind of grown up and you know, Sex and the City-ish going in there..And believe me, that is not easy right now when I am literally getting fatter by the minute. Instead, I will not be able to put my legs together for weeks. I am tip-toeing around the house like I just rode a galloping horse for three days. Lovely.

On a positive note, Christmas break is almost here and almost all of our shopping is done. On another EXTREMELY bright note, we got all of our first tri-mester screenings back and all of our numbers are GREAT! My risk of having a baby with the birth defects tested is the same as a 20 year old pregnant girl now. (I'll bet she knows better than to wax-I am such an idiot!) Anyway, that was a huge relief to us because as you know, once you hit that magic "35 and older" EVERYTHING is not in your favor, percentage-wise. Older eggs or something, I don't know. I would think they'd be smarter eggs if you ask me, but then I am the one who got the bikini wax, so never mind. In any case, it's one less worry. It just gives me more time to concentrate on the fact that my son looks like a badly shorn sheep. Oh well, hair grows back. Wait, uh, that isn't helping right now.