I felt pretty good about myself until I went onto the "www.weight gain calculator for pregnant suckers" website and they told me I was 2 pounds over the high end.
Shut the eff up. Some dude is in charge of that website, I just know it. Or some stick thin nutball who has NEVER been pregnant in her life..
YOU carry around another person inside your body, get hemrrhoids, bloated boobs, fat ankles, crave Captain Crunch morning, noon and night and toot uncontrollably ("Mom, your butt is stinky." "Keegan I can't help it. The baby makes me toot." "Actually Mom, beans make you toot" Sigh) and THEN maybe you might think about changing your stupid website and it's "you are two pounds over your high weight" messages. Creeps.
Maren has a terrible cold and crawled INTO her crib, asked me to turn on her sound machine AND shut the curtains at 6:00.
She only crawled out at 6:35 because she heard her brother rustling in the treat bin, and she didn't want to miss the chance of a Lemonhead.
She is now prostrate on the family room rug under her blanket, head on a pillow, watching The Wizard of Oz. (I KNOW..I KNOW..) but it's the Tom and Jerry version, so I really feel like she's watching something completely different. (I KNOW. I KNOW.)
Keegan went downstairs to color and he was probably just being polite because he didn't want to be around his tooting mom.
I made a GREAT easy lasagna last night and threw it into the oven this afternoon.
I have already started de-thawing tomorrow night's chicken dinner, and in less than an hour, I can be in bed with a new book. I feel pretty together.
Until I start thinking about that stupid weight site. Ugh.
I have read 15 books since school started.
All I want to do is lie in bed and read, probably because in three months, I will never get to pick up another book until the baby is 4.
Sigh.
Yesterday we made our annual trip to the Family Farm. That's not true. It's not annual. We didn't go last year. We were not sleeping through the night last year. 2010-2011 is a HUGE blur.
"Do you remember what we did last Christmas?"
"What? No clue."
"Will, what about Thanksgiving?"
"Totally gone."
Sigh.
Anyway, the Family Farm was HOT and DUSTY and those are two of my least favorite things. But the kids loved the hay ride and I am not going to lie: I love that damn potbelly pig. He's grumpy, fat and if you touch him he snorts and spits at you.
That potbelly pig and I have a lot in common right now.
"No kidding."
Be quiet Will. Why don't you go on the "www.pregnant? try out this cool calculator to track how fat we're going to make you feel" website and see how you like it!
Here is Keegan with a giant skull on his head because his dad likes to make him put things on and then take pictures and laugh all night. "Look at that head!"
Here I am at 26 weeks in my new red dress. BEFORE that stupid website.
Here is a short film clip starring my new best friend, the potbelly pig. Thanks a lot Will. My big ass, and the pigs big ass seem to be prominent throughout. A little girl standing nearby keeps yelling: "Look at that Mom!" And I don't think she's talking about the pig. Ugh.
Here are Maren and I at the family farm. She didn't want to touch any animals.
"I want to go home." Yep, she's my daughter.
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