Each pregnancy there has been something.
With Keegan, it was the baby bag.
With Maren, it was a carrier.
With this baby, it's all about making my ass look small.
Priorities people...
Anyway, I believe I have a pretty good track record for being a horrible mall shopper.
Case in point, today all I wanted to do was go to Macy's to Pea in the Pod.
Simple?
Absolutely frickin' not.
First off, the maternity section of Macy's is located in the VERY BACK corner of the BASEMENT.
I felt like I was traveling through time just to get there.
"Excuse me, can you tell me where the maternity section is?"
"It's two floors down, past the boiler room, the clearance housewares, our break room, the old mannequin closet and the candy."
The candy.
They put the candy section next to the maternity clothes.
I don't think that's funny.
By the time I actually found the "Maternity Nook," I was so famished and exhausted, I had to sit down and polish off a roll of LifeSavers I had stashed in my purse in case of "Children Losing Patience While Grocery Shopping with Me" Emergency. Luckily, I could replenish my supply right next door in the candy section.
Still not funny.
Okay, so here's the thing about a higher end maternity store.
It's a HUGE disappointment.
Why?
Because it's still maternity clothes, only they're like eight times what you would pay in a regular store.
Depressing.
I came away with nothing to show for my travels.
Well, except a new friend. Almost. The clerk was so starved for a visitor that she told me all about her mom's wedding the day before.
"I'm not on Facebook. This friendship won't be going anywhere."
You should have seen her face. Crushed.
Well who could blame her for trying...stashed away down there all day...
At least she has the candy...
Nope. Not laughing. I will never think it's humorous.
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