Every time I try to do something cool with my blog, I eff it up.
This is why I shouldn't even look at anyone else's blogs. I get blog envy and then I end up feeling bad about myself because my blog doesn't have cool shit on it, and then when I try to change anything, I end up with type the size of a pinhead, and the whole thing turns white so no one can read it even if they did have a magnifying glass right next to their computer.
Super.
I read this Mormon woman's page the other day and I can't get back the ten minutes I lost reading it, but she had a super cool background and little cutesy sayings uploaded and it was just so damn clever looking.
Dammit.
I have to decide whether I want to be a decent blogger or have a cool page.
Because clearly I cannot do both.
I'll get back to you on that, and the polls may already be in, and maybe I am just not willing to admit defeat in either category so just zip it..
Maren is acting like a perfect two year old. She beams at me... her enormous brown eyes dance wildly, she screams "NO" so that everyone in the tri-state area can hear her and she BOLTS..into the backyard, down the driveway, into the bathroom, behind the couch, into her brother's room, under the table, into the closet...anywhere that makes it extremely difficult for me to catch her.
Is there ANYTHING about raising this girl that is easy?
No. Let's just get it out there. No.
I have never loved a human being more in my entire life, other than her brother, and yet been so absolutely flabbergasted.
On my tombstone..wait, I am going to be cremated. On my urn, who is going to keep that? Okay well, anyway, SOMEWHERE it will be written, "Maren Vada was not the death of her, but it was close."
Keegan's not a peach lately either.
My mothering self-esteem has taken a real shot.
Maybe it's spring fever, but my kids just seem naughty.
This does not make me feel so great.
Who wants to admit they have naughty kids?
I don't see mother's around the country volunteering up that information real easily.
"My son's a shit."
"No mine is! He was really a shit yesterday, you should have seen him."
"I doubt he could have been worse than mine. We've been working on how shitty he can be."
There isn't a lot of "one-upping" going on when it comes to bad behavior because it makes US look bad.
I am trying, TRYING to not take it personally. I am TRYING TRYING to have patience and pray that I don't have a constant pained expression on my face when I am talking to crabby Keegan.
I know that it is just a phase and he seems to snap into it as fast as he snaps out.
And let's be honest, everything is just more difficult with two.
Everything is that much more fantastic too.
The best part of today was watching Maren BOLT, (sigh) into the backyard and scream at the top of her lungs: "Hi Keegie!"
and hearing her brother say back, "Hi Pretty."
Some moments are just precious and I want to freeze them because I know time goes so quickly. For that I will take the naughty with the nice.
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