A Rainy Afternoon

I am drinking at 3:47 in the afternoon. It feels like the old days when I was stuck out in the sticks: before I had Keegan and I wasn't working in the summer.
ahhhhh...
Did you know Mike's Hard Lemonade has 220 calories a bottle? Basically I have drunk my dinner.
Oh well. I will switch to wine after this one. Then maybe I can have some dinner. Oh who the hell am I kidding? I will eat like normal.
Keegan is taking a late nap and Will will be home from class before I am too hammered, so it should be fine. The words of the next Mother of the Year right here folks.However, it is raining cats and dogs out and I am listening intently for the sirens to go off so I can make a mad dash upstairs to whisk Keegan out of his crib and underneath the stairs. I am very "siren" conscious. I will watch my wine intake. I don't want the roof coming off and then a horrible interview on television of a half-drunk ME explaining the tornado touch-down..oh you see where I am going..it would just BE BAD..

I had lunch with a friend the other day and he asked me: "So what exciting things are you doing this summer? We're flying to New York next week."
What? Am I supposed to be doing things like THAT? Like flying places? Shit.
Suddenly I felt a bit inadequate. I thought getting the floor washed, taking up running again, establishing a "play-date" friend for Keegan, directing a band number back in Will's hometown AND showing up on the front page of the local paper (really that is all I want to say about it..think Corky on crack...) and finding a new place to shop were really really EXCITING.
More on the shopping in a minute.
People with children and without children are in two different brackets. AND ONE is NOT better than the other..But my idea of exciting and my friend's idea of exciting are clearly two different things.

We are invited to several weddings this summer. I LOVE LOVE LOVE weddings now that I am married to Will. Have I mentioned this? NO STRESS. No fighting the small children for the tossed bouquet..no wondering if I am EVER going to get married..just drinking..being critical of the wedding reception and more drinking.
A new trend seems to be Adult Only receptions. We have had several invites now with this request. I have NO PROBLEM with this..I really do not feel like chasing my still-crawling son up and down the church aisle or having him scream out: "BAH-MAH-LAH!" as the priest asks the bride's parents who gives the lovely girl away.
Nor do I feel like chasing my still crawling son around the dance floor in between people's feet all night as everyone gives me the "Oh isn't that precious" sympathy-half smile, while they are getting bombed and I am trying not to drink too much wine because it doesn't look good for the mother of the year voting process...
No I am fine leaving Keegan at home with a sitter.
What I am NOT fine with is overdoing it on the invitation.
A simple: Adult Reception is classy and to the point.
ADULT RECEPTION NO CHILDREN ALLOWED THIS MEANS YOU ABSOLUTELY NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 12 WILL BE ADMITTED WITHOUT PROOF OF AGE
Is just gross.
Okay, I exaggerated a little..BUT I shit you not a whole lot.
Look..what does an adult reception mean anyway? Adult ANYTHING to me means that something pretty ADULT is going on.
Like porn.
Or Michael Vick is bringing his dogs for some fighting.
Or YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
What in heaven's name is so ADULT at a wedding reception that a CHILD can't be there?
And the last time I checked NO 12 year-old was even CLOSE to an adult... Because I TEACH them every day and if they are ADULT enough for this so-called ADULT reception than that just means I must have been teaching something close to college this whole time and we all know that isn't true.
So I am a little put off by the whole thing and it's one of Will's work people so it probably means I will end up drunk and saying something to the wrong person in the bathroom. To Be Continued.

NOW my shopping secret.
I have discovered the world of consignment shopping. You need to try this.
I realize that Victoria Beckham doesn't need to shop this way but until Will makes it big as a professional soccer player, this is just the way I am going to buy my clothes. I bought $400.00 worth of clothes the other day for $30.00. I am not kidding you.
The cocktail dress alone would have been $250.00. Consignment price: $4.25. Are you KIDDING ME?? So really it is kind of a no-brainer and Will is extremely happy with me because I can go shopping all the time and we won't have to have the: "I will give up Caribou when you give up wine" argument. Which, by the way is an utterly ridiculous argument because you can MAKE coffee at home, but have you ever tasted HOMEMADE wine? I am pretty sure they call it MOONSHINE, don't they?????????????????? Well, at least they should if they don't. Gross.
So hopefully this new shopping will be one more way to many more years of wedded bliss.
And if I keep my mouth shut at the ADULT reception.
I will just do a lot of betting on the dogs.
That should keep me busy.