On With The Show

Well another school year has come to an end, and once again it ended as effed up as many others in the past few years have for me.
I wish I could lie, fake it or just brush it off gracefully. I can't.  I feel rotten, horrible and pretty much like I vomited all over myself and can't clean it off yet.
I am hoping that it will go away in the next few days. It's Monday and the smell is still lingering, so maybe a few more good runs will do the trick.
The great thing is I am getting back into running really quick. The bad thing is that all the "beating feet" I am doing, isn't really taking away the pit in my stomach.
I don't know, have we talked about this yet? I spent almost four years in the most dysfunctional relationship on the planet. I was lost for four years.  I was a ghost of myself.  It took years to repair, to undo what had been done.  But I did repair it. The way I feel now, after five years in the environment I've worked in, feels eerily similar.
This is not where I want to be at almost 40.
So I guess I have to make a plan. And running is always step 1. (See old post..the one where I got dumped in Uptown..Didn't that happen a lot to you, Melissa?  Shut up you,  I only wrote about it once!)
In the meantime, I feel  really really icky.
I have been taught that there is a reason for everything, and so there will have to be some good that comes out of everything that has happened.  I see small signs.  But I know that I have a lot of work to do.  Right now I feel so tired and so phony and so empty.  I am thankful it's summer.  I need space and some nice people around me. But in all honesty, I don't feel so nice either. So I have to be okay being around my self too.
Okay so I feel better that I got that off my flat chest.
On to fun things.
Keegan found a tree frog while Will was landscaping. And by the way, I am not sure what has gotten in to Will but he has some sort of agricultural streak in him, because he has suddenly started planting and hoeing like crazy.  I bet he would have been a great farmer a hundred years ago.
Annd we would not have met.  Because if Match.com existed back then, I would not have dated the guy holding the hoe.  I AM JUST SAYING!
Okay anyway, Keegan carried that tree frog around EVERYWHERE yesterday.  On his arm, his shoulder, his STOMACH!  I caught him singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him by the hose.
"Mom Bough loves me."
And I swear that frog did!  He didn't tryto make a get away the whole day!
He patiently endured the baths in the bird bath, the "time in the mud bucket".  He was Keegan's buddy all day.
I was really proud of my amphibian loving son.  He was so gentle to this frog. You know he could have been lighting him on fire or running him over with his bike or a million other scenarios that would have sent me immediately to the phone for a children's therapy appointment.
I especially loved that he named him Bough!  How clever! Like Tree Bough! Because he was a Tree Frog!
He even knows what a bough is!  His vocabulary is incredible for four!
"Mom!  Momma! Come HERE! I found another TREE FROG!"
"Keegan you have two! What are you going to name this one?"
"Show!"
"What?"
"Show.  She's the mom of Bow."'
"Your tree frogs are Show and Bow?  Will, did you hear that? You might want to forget about basketball."
"You should name him Cletus, Keegan."
Not gonna happen.

Some things are not what they seem, and I have to admit, this time, I love it!  Thank you Keegan for reminding me what's really important.