Sigh.......

Keegan loves skeletons.
He is not afraid one bit.
Right now he has a huge paper skeleton hanging on his bedroom door and he snuck skeleton lights into the cart at Target today.
"For Christmas!"
"We are not hanging skeleton lights on the Christmas tree."

Will is gone late tonight but I spent 20 minutes hanging skeleton lights in the kids' bedroom.
My precious baby girl fell asleep to the glow of skeleton lights. I am sure this is #1 in the Bad Parenting rule book.
I can hear the sirens of the approaching police cars as I type.
Here's the thing, though. Keegan is NOT into the scary, he's into the SCIENCE. He is actually fascinated with the bones, and I say if this is step 1 in getting him into Med school than by God I am going to buy him every freakin' skeleton between now and Johns Hopkins. No lie.

My muse has been on vacation for awhile and it wasn't until tonight when my friend Karen came over and questioned the flowers that I purchased last week at Trader Joe's that I had placed IN a vase, but just hadn't unwrapped yet...that I had even really realized I might be able to put a sentence together if I just unwrapped the flowers. Obviously I still can't. That was the worst run-on I have ever seen.
I am a bit tight right now and like the flowers that were still confined in plastic after a week, I am enveloped in layers of sadness...so it is a bit like swimming through muck to even get anything out..
I know I have a beautiful family that is loving and steadfast. I know I have true friends. I am trying to understand things in another part of my life right now..and this isn't really the format to write about it..I guess I'll have to start a super secret blog. I think what I am coming to understand more than ever is that what I do for a living is so completely tied to who I am, and I have to decide how I am going to get through this bleak, completely wrong, completely dysfunctional time.
The wonderful part is that I have very sane, very smart, very right people around me.
I am going to lay with Keegan tonight and look at his skeleton lights and let him hold my hand.
"Momma, know what? I love you. Wanna smell my teeth?"
"Yes, Keegan, I want to smell your teeth, and I love you too."