Happy Anniversary Herpes!

Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary and it is only fitting that I have a cold sore the size of Kentucky and my hemorrhoids are flaring up.
I blame the cold sore on the state of education in Anoka-Hennepin and the hemorrhoids on my two and a half year old because I never had them until I was pregnant.
I came home at 3:30 and was so happy to see my darling husband fertilizing the lawn which meant he took a half day off to spend with ME his lovely bride..and immediately when he saw my bottom lip oozing half-way down my chin, I knew he just wanted to go back to work. Who could blame him?
Furthermore, at dinner, my precious son piped up: "Momma! What's on your face?!"
"Keegan I have an owie"
"Get it off"
Thank you Keegan. I would LOVE to get my herpes simplex 8 off my face but I kissed Scott Swenson in college and I am doomed for all eternity. Thanks for the hemorrhoids by the way.
Once Keegan goes to bed we are going to have our "anniversary" dinner and toast with some champagne. THIS I am excited for as it may not be too many more months that I will be drinking champagne. WELL not FOREVER good GOD! This is ME we're talking about..but I think we are in the baby making business..except I feel weird saying that, as if we're opening some kind of illegal sweat shop that's going to make clothes for Kathie Lee.. and I DON'T like pressure, I like "unplannedness..." so I would rather just let "nature take it's course".
I bought a book on fertility because there are no books out there on "How to Get Pregnant When You Really Just Want To Get Pregnant But Don't Want to Make a Big Deal About It"
I should not have bought the fertility book..ugh..it is no wonder that people who are not getting pregnant are so worried..books like that make you even MORE WORRIED..I wasn't even worried and I WAS WORRIED..oh shit..my hairspray, my water, my husband, my air, my WINE..forget it..Look, I will get back to you in six months and if nothing is happening then we can worry together..
In the meantime let's just concentrate on getting rid of the cold sore.."Momma..owie on your chin.."
"Yes, I know, it's oozing a bit..
Does he HAVE to be so damned observant??! I know it's GROSS!